Tag: family

Thanksgiving kicks off the end of year holiday season. Time to gather with family and friends and give thanks for our blessings. Time to get tied up in traffic or airports. Deal with weather delays. Pass illnesses around like we pass the potatoes, (hopefully not COVID), and either argue over our political differences or sit around the fire pretending that those chasms don’t exist. 

Yeah, it’s a time for anxiety and has been for almost a decade now. So much so that it has become a political cliché and a sad shortcut for what we’re all living through. Certainly there’s joy to be found in the warmth and good company of family and friends, but in my life those circles are smaller than they used to be. 

In the early years of the first Trump administration I didn’t initially shy away from arguing politics at family gatherings. It was largely a fruitless endeavor. We knew less then than we do now. After a few bouts of that my wife and I agreed that we’d just keep our opinions to ourselves going forward to avoid the aggravation.  We largely did, even in the face of being baited now again by Trump worshipping, Fox loving sycophants.

We’ve largely tried to adhere to that avoidance game in the wake of this year’s calamitous election. We’ve actually turned down an invitation or two and will probably do so again in the future. While we’ll avoid conflict and aggravation when we can, I’ve made it plain in our house that I won’t hold my tongue going forward if someone tosses out the bait. 

This Thanksgiving we’re fortunate in that we’re going to a small celebration with family and friends who view the world much the way we do, so that should be anxiety free. This scheduling has nothing to do with the political situation and we’re thankful for that. But we know there will be other invitations forthcoming during the next month or so. 

With that in mind I’ve developed my response in case those show up. Here it is:

Thanks for the invitation. We’d love to attend. Before we accept there a few things I want to make clear. We know we disagree on politics, and while we’ve largely avoided that topic at past gatherings, it is important for you to know that I feel I can no longer avoid doing so. Preemptively, I am sharing some feelings and beliefs important to me. 

You may not believe it, but I feel we’re heading into a dangerous and difficult time that will see much of how we’ve both viewed the world come to a crashing end. I could go on and on about Donald Trump’s lack of character and disastrous policies, and the ignorance of those who elected him, but in the interest of brevity I’ll boil all of that down to the single, simplest reason why I don’t want to spend time with you pretending. 

Donald Trump, among many things, is a rapist and a misogynist. He’s attempting to surround himself with others just like him, proving to me, and the world, just how insignificant and dispensable he thinks women are. Rape is a violent act, and shows tremendous disregard for every human being. If someone thinks rape can be overlooked, there’s not much else that they won’t do to hurt other human beings. 

In my opinion, it’s beyond disqualifying someone from office and participation in society.  Further, anyone who voted for him can’t overlook the fact that they are comfortable viewing rape and misogyny as acceptable as well. There are no trade-offs for some other policy or viewpoint that excuses that type of behavior. 

I won’t argue the point with you. To me, it’s not debatable. I also have no respect for anyone might try and change my opinion on the matter. 

I’m not asking you to change your views, they are already apparent and yours to own. But I believe it is important for you to have no doubt about mine.

Happy Holidays

You can find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.