Tag: family

It’s Time To Stop Hiding From The Obvious

Too many ostriches among us

During these extended grand-parenting trips to help my daughter and her family move one of the favorite games Grandpa plays with the little ones is Hide and Seek. My granddaughter is very good at the hiding part. She plays for keeps. There were a couple of times we worried we’d lost her.

My grandson on the other hand likes to change the rules mid-game, always to his benefit whether he’s hiding or seeking.

It’s not easy to hide. Especially in plain sight. But that’s what so many have been doing in our country for far too long, pretending that they are as good at hiding as my granddaughter, but hiding the way my grandson does by shifting the rules and lowering the bar to avoid being caught.

Hiding from the reality of what’s happening bears no fruit. Hiding from what needs to happen to bring it to an end yields even less.

There are too many ostriches among us and that needs to change.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

The Grandkids Fill The New Digs With Laughter

When you move into a new place one of the things you notice is how sound echoes around an empty house. Especially when there are little ones who love to run at what seems the speed of light, laughing at levels that set off Apple Watch loud enviornment warnings.

Today the movers arrive at my daughter and her famiiy’s new digs. As the place fills up with furniture and the stuff of living, the echoes will diminish, but the volume won’t as the new digs will still be overflowing with the sounds of laughter and life. We’re still mostly on babysitting duty, thus the grandkids first coloring session with Grandma waiting for the movers to do their thing.

Everyone’s excited.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

Why It’s Worth Being Angry

The laughter of innocents

Settling in for another out of town stay to help my daughter and her husband with phase two of moving into their new house. Grandma and I got right into watching the kids as their parents are working at the new digs to prep for the movers.

It’s been a rough week. All of the news has hit me hard. Harder than I would have imagined. But I listen to the laughter of these kids (I provoke a lot of it), and I relish the cuddles, and I imagine a better time ahead, yet feel a tightening resolve to make sure that’s possible for these precious innocents. I’d sacrifice anything for this bunch.

I cringe when I think this feels selfish or cocoonish, when I know others are closer to the fire than we currently are. But I hope all across this country that those who are as blessed as our family are also taking stock of what level of sacrifice they are willing to make.

The time has come to stand and be measured accountable.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

Sunday Morning Reading

Boulder bustling

The world prepares to begin a new year and wakes up to an entirely new world. Or does it?

You go to bed on a Friday night with the holiday season inching to a close and wake up on Saturday morning and your country is running Venezuela after invading it and kidnapping its president and his wife. Or so the narrative on Sunday morning goes. I’m sure it will change by the time we get to midweek. Yeah, it was that kind of weekend and that will be reflected in this week’s Sunday Morning Reading along with a host of other topics.

Main-9 24-Nov-2.

I’ll lead off with a few in the moment takes on what happened in Venezuela yesterday. Note that in the moment takes often fade once the moment has its moment.

First up, David Frum says that Trump’s Critics Are Falling Into An Obvious Trap. Frankly, whether you’re a critic or a MAGA hat wearing supporter we’ve all fallen for so many obvious traps, what’s one more?

Thinking bigger picture, Tom Nichols thinks Maybe Russia and China Should Sit This One Out. They need to stop laughing first.

In the wake of the news, Carole Cadwalladr sees “a mass propaganda event” about to engulf the US in her piece, The Threat From America. She’s correct.

Written before the events of this weekend, Mathew Walther’s The Strange Death of Make America Great Again may seem out of place and time as it focuses on the MAGA culture wars within itself. I would venture that it is not, so stay tuned.

Turning to more local concerns that resonate alongside the global news, the folks at Block Club Chicago including Francia Garcia Hernádez and Madison Savedra have an excellent look at How Operation Midway Blitz Changed Our City in Chicago Under Siege.

As if not to be left out of the making bad news moment, Elon Musk’s back in the swing of things with his AI tool Grok allowing users to essentially turn X into a porn machine using photos of real folks to wreak havoc. Just note that X is still the social media platform of choice for far too many. Matteo Wong has the story in Elon Musk’s Pornography Machine.

Cory Doctorow published the text of a recent speech called A Post-American, Enshittification-Resistant Internet. He continues fighting the good fight like Sisyphus with that boulder.

JA Westenberg makes The Case For Blogging In The Ruins.

And to close out the week when holiday close out sales come to an end, Jake Lundberg takes a look at The Cult of Costco. Great piece whether you shop there or not.

If you’re interested in just what the heck Sunday Morning Reading is all about you can read more about the origins of Sunday Morning Reading here. If you’d like more click on the Sunday Morning Reading link in the category column to check out what’s been shared on Sunday’s past. You can also find more of my writings on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome.

The Before Times

Family circles

The Before Times. Today begins the round of family and friend holiday gatherings that follow Christmas. In Chicago basements and dining rooms. In the occasional pizza parlor on the Northwest Side. I call it The Before Times because it was before Trump. Before COVID. Before Trump again. Before some of the folks in this picture from 2014 succumbed to illness, divorced, or on the flip side gotten married and had kids, or seen their kids finish college and move on.

Like I said, before so much.

These gatherings were and are always fun. Always a bit tedious. Always full of laughter. Always with an air of tension.  Always always.

While they still happen, so much has changed. Families have separated and merged into new families with new family traditions. The younger ones have scattered across the country and don’t always come back for the holidays as they build their own. As a matter of fact, we’re in the midst of building a new one with my daughter and our grandkids. One family grouping continues the bi-weekly Zoom call that began during COVID.

But that’s life and the part of life that holidays always remind us of. Regardless of what’s happening within our family circles or outside of them, life goes on. It is just always changing.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

The Search For The Coat

Never quit on a garment or a search for the perfect gift

Back in the day when I was writing gadget reviews for GottaBeMobile I did reviews of all kinds of things related to tech. Every now and then a product would cross my path that I liked enough to spend my own money on. One of those happened to be a coat from SCOTTeVEST.

If you’re unfamiliar with any of SCOTTeVEST products their outerwear is designed with many pockets to carry tons of gadgets and gear without looking bulky or overstuffed. Their website was famous for its X-Ray views of all you could carry in the pockets. I’ve owned a few of their coats and vests over the years, but this one became my favorite for a number of reasons.

Brad Thor Alpha Jacket - SCOTTEVEST.

There’s a great line in Larry McMurtry’s western epic Lonesome Dove spoken by Augustus McCrae that says “You know Deets is like me — he’s not one to quit on a garment just because it’s got a little age.” I’m much the same. I’ll wear a piece of clothing out before retiring it, and this coat is one I’ve worn all too close to the bone. So much so that when I pulled it out of the closet this year as colder weather approached I told my wife that this was going to be the last year I could wear the thing and I was going to be very sad to retire it and shop for something to replace it with next year. I wasn’t complaining. 12 years in the life of a coat is actually a good run.

Even so, my wife was listening. The only thing less forgiving than my approach to hanging on to an article of clothing long after its usefulness is my wife’s determination when it comes to finding and acquiring something she wants, especially if it’s a gift for someone. Like a dog on a bone she managed to track one down in excellent condition and presented it to me as a Christmas gift.

CleanShot 2025-12-26 at 13.39.05@2x.

Turns out, as with all things about my wife, there’s a story behind her hunt.

The coat in question is or was called the Brad Thor Alpha Coat. Brad Thor is an American action thriller novelist. His Scott Horvath series of books replaced my Tom Clancy addiction many years ago, merely by coincidence as regards to this coat.

Beyond featuring over 35 pockets to carry your tech gear, (you could even carry a full-sized iPad in one of them, and I did), the original design featured ways to carry and access a handgun, pockets to hold and quickly access a dagger, an RFID pocket to avoid skimming technology, and for those who might need to wear bullet resistant body armor underneath it was sized a little larger. Thor was quite involved in the design of the coat which fits completely with the milieu of his action thriller writing. The color of the coat is called Squid Ink.

For the record, my everyday carry has never included handguns, daggers, or body armor, but often has included an array of tech gadgets, especially back in the days when I was traveling by air more frequently. Those were different days and you could plop the coat down on the conveyor at airport security and sail on through. As a bonus each year when we put away the winter gear all my various gloves, scarves, and winter hats get stored in the pockets.

But back to the story. Along the way it turns out that Brad Thor and SCOTTeVEST had some sort of falling out, and Thor stopped endorsing the coat or any of the company’s products. The company stopped using his name and manufacturing the coat. I knew they had stopped making the coat but never looked into the why of it because hey, the coat was in good shape until the last few years when wear and tear eventually started showing.

My wife’s tireless search involved corresponding with a number of folks on eBay and other websites, exhaustively sending them measurements to check and asking for more pictures than they made initially available. There were apparently plenty not in my size (either too big or too small) but she finally found one that was just right and made the deal. It was quite the surprise on Christmas morning. She’s the real Alpha in this story.

So this post is both a testament to my wife’s dogged determination as well as the Brad Thor Alpha Coat. Happy to say it’s great to have a replacement that I hope will last another 12 years. Which is probably longer than I will.

For the record none of the links in this post are affiliate links. You can read my 2013 review of the coat here.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

No Translation Needed

Kid’s gibberish making more sense than our political leaders

This afternoon while sitting and listening to my grandkids chatter in their own language, (at a volume that continues to set off the Loud Environment notification on my Apple Watch, I can say that not only is there a silly, naive innocence about everything I can’t decipher, but it doesn’t matter because I somehow understand it all. 

What’s a bit insane about that is it that their gibberish makes more sense than all the words coming out of our supposed leaders, even as they string words together that actually form complete sentences.

Well, except for that one guy who yelled at the country in desperation.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

Conflictions Part 2

Repeating the good while reminded of the bad

Continuing on a theme after yesterday’s post about conflicting feelings I ran across this interview with actors Colin Farrell and Jessie Buckley. The quote below from Colin Farrell reached out and touched all of those conflicted nerve endings in my body and soul I’m experiencing as I tend to my grandkids while watching the whirlpool that is the world at this moment.

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I have mad moments of joy in my life and joy in work and joy with my kids. But I’ve always felt that the common denominator in regard to experience as humans is pain. The one thing we’ve all felt, really, is pain. I put fear and uncertainty under that banner. Not everyone, sadly, has felt joy. And that’s a great tragedy. But I’m fascinated with pain. Every single act of aggression or violence has its root in pain that has become personalized.

I mostly buy Farrell’s statement. As for me, I’ve experienced both great joy and great pain. My always burning inner conflict  is not letting the latter overwhelm the former.

These crazy days with the grandkids are full of that joy now that the visits more than the usual long weekend. Certainly when we view holiday favorite movies and continually rewind favorite laugh moments.

My grandson is continually asking me to identify the bad guys (he knows who they are after repeated viewings.) More curiously he’s asking why they are doing bad things or what makes them bad.

I hope like hell I’m giving him the right answers.

You can also find more of my writings on a variety of topics on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome. I can also be found on social media under my name as above.

Sunday Morning Reading

No tricks. No treats. Just thoughts and reading worth sharing.

The frights of Halloween have passed us by, but real life horrors remain and expand. Never had more gut wrenching emotions this weekend than spending it with my grandkids costumed in their bountiful innocence, avoiding what’s out there in a life they’ll one day have to face, but in the present doesn’t exist beyond the edges of any joyful moment of wonder and exuberance they can conjure. This week’s Sunday Morning Reading won’t touch on too much of that, but then again, I think it just did.

David Todd McCarty thinks amidst it all We Can Be Heroes. Making my grandkids laugh uncontrollably makes me feels damn close.

Adam Gropnik visits the home of the poet Wislawa Szymborska and returns with How To Endure Authoritarianism.

Will Bunch says It Didn’t take A Reichstag Fire To Burn Down Congress. He’s correct. It didn’t even take a match.

Some interesting writing on Artificial Intelligence and the Internet this week that’s worth your while, first up Cory Doctorow tackles When AI Prophecy Fails.

Will Douglas Heaven explains How AGI Became The Most Consequential Theory Of Our Time.

Tim Chinenov wonders Who’s Creating The Rage Bait That’s Radicalizing You?

Decidedly not on the Internet Friday night while trick-or-treating with my grandkids, though not in my besieged town of Chicago, I witnessed not only kids howling with fun, but adults who joined in on the fun with their own costumes and decorated homes, some elaborate, some not so, all with love and honoring a tradition I’ve never seen in the communities I’ve lived in. Many families set up in their driveways, some with small fire pits, some with tents, tables full of food (and candy), welcoming all comers to their Halloween semi-tall gating front yards. I also noticed the adults who just sat in their cars and slowly followed their children down the block. The entire experience reminded me of this piece from the summer in which Joan Westenberg says every creator pays a tax while the rest stay spectators in The Unbearable Lightness of Cringe. Pay the tax.

And closing out this week, kudos to both the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Toronto Blue Jays for an excellent World Series, which the Dodgers won. Both teams played a splendid series and provided an incredible Game 7 finish to one of those contests you never want to see end, but know it must. Grown men over compensated for incredible talent, playing a kid’s game like kids, thrilling and heart breaking in the same breath. Too bad we don’t have any great, or even good, baseball writers to chronicle the moment these days.

If you’re interested in just what the heck Sunday Morning Reading is all about you can read more about the origins of Sunday Morning Reading here. If you’d like more click on the Sunday Morning Reading link in the category column to check out what’s been shared on Sunday’s past. You can also find more of my writings on Medium at this link, including in the publications Ellemeno and Rome.